Trident Splash Orange Swirl

Flavor: The packaging on this gum can only be described with one word: ridiculous. Its many flaws are transparent in its over-packaging, for example: obviously Trident was unable to secure the flavor name “Creamsicle” due to copyright issues and so there’s a picture of a Creamsicle on the unpleasantly fluorescent orange package beside the name “Orange Swirl.” They might as well have called it “Orange sorbet swirled with vanilla ice cream formed into a brick and easily handled with an appended popsicle stick.” You’re not fooling anyone, Trident Splash. The package also touts “NEW! BURST of Sweet INDULGENCE!” What’s with the weird emphatic capitalization? And what’s indulgent about a creamsicle? The burst is in fact a burst, as the gum, with its crunchy candy coating, is filled with potent creamsicle- (excuse me, “Orange Swirl”)-flavored liquid. The flavor stays for a while, longer than most candy-coated gums, but the texture…

Texture: …leaves something to be desired. It almost immediately becomes too soft and easily separated from itself while chewing. Not a pleasant chew after that initial burst of liquid dissipates.

Overall: When bro and sissy presented me with the gum, it came with a disclaimer: this gum sucks. Shannon said it was good at first but quickly faded, and Matt added that the consistency quickly deteriorated and left you with a barely flavored unchewable hunk of nothing (in so many words). I must say they were correct. It’s a delight if you’re craving a creamsicle but don’t want to (oh GOD forbid) INDULGE in an actual ice pop. So, if you’re on a diet this summer, and really want that burst of Orange Swirl goodness, minus the ice cream and the cooling sensation and the all-around nostalgic pleasure it induces, chew this crappy piece of gum, why not.
Rating: oo (two gumballs)

Trident Spearmint

Flavor: It’s a little unfair how I chose to review these gums. In hindsight, a blind taste test would have been the best option—and perhaps in later classic flavor trials we’ll do so (perhaps a special feature?) Unfortunately for Trident, all of my Orbit Spearmint is long gone since Monday (which says something, to be sure, of the quality of the Orbit gum). So, poor Trident was held up against a very high, invisible standard, which I, admittedly, expected it to meet—nay—exceed. Trident has a sweeter version of Spearmint than Orbit, a burst of delightful Spearmint at the start that satisfies that classic urge. But with time, the flavor fades to “cold,” with just a hint of that spearmint zest, which is, unfortunately, not pleasant to gnaw on for very long at all.

Texture: It seems this gum get smaller the longer you chew, a definite minus in my book. It has a solid consistency, but since it disintegrates in mass so dramatically I’m going to have to give it the thumbs down.

Overall: Trident vs. Orbit: The Spearmint Trials. My intuition said that Trident would trump Orbit, with its long-standing reputation in the gum industry and the mere fact that it was probably one of the first Spearmint varieties out there. When I first started chewing my gut impulse was to confirm this intuition, it was sweeter, more pleasant, stronger than the Orbit variety. I chewed merrily along for about five or ten minutes when I suddenly got the urge to spit out the gum. It didn’t lose flavor so much, and the texture didn’t decompose completely, but I just didn’t feel like chewing it anymore. Something about it faded with time and unfortunately, that falls short of Orbit, and in fact falls short of most other Trident flavors on the whole. I was surprised. Next time I want this old favorite, I’m going with Orbit. Better luck in the cinnamon trials, Trident, because you’ve been TKO’d in this round.

Rating: ooo (three gumballs)

Orbit Raspberry Mint

Flavor: When I first tried this gum when it came out a couple years ago, I remember not liking it very much… in fact, I remember not liking it at all. From my foggy memory, I fully came here expecting to give it one gumball. I don’t know if my tastes have changed or if they’ve changed the formulation, but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly not a good taste, in fact I have a hard time even comparing it to actual raspberries. It’s got a very cough-syrupy taste, with a really bitter twinge that lingers in the back of the throat. It does have a somewhat cooling effect to it, but like the previously reviewed Bubblemint, it’s not a true mint, and I tend to think that’s what brings on the bitterness. Mixing a sweet flavor, be it fruit or bubble, just doesn’t work.

Texture: Orbit is generally consistent with texture, but Raspberry Mint is a little softer than other Orbits. It’s a little too soft for my personal preferences, but certainly not unchewable.

Overall: I wouldn’t buy this gum again for myself, and there are so many better fruity flavored gums out there that are far superior than this. Raspberry is a hard flavor to pull off artificially, and this is more proof of that. Back to the drawing board, Orbit.Rating: ooo (three gumballs)

Orbit Spearmint

Flavor: Orbit’s version of the classic “Spearmint” flavor. Classics like this, much like peppermint and bubblegum, are risky but imperative for all big gum brands to produce. All brands have to have the old basics, the standbys, the flavors that have stood the test of time since the dawning of the gum age, the favorites and the tried and trues, the flavors that are constant no matter who makes them—and yet, each brand must strive to be the best, to somehow rise above all the others. How do you execute a perfect and yet unique rendition of a timeless classic? It’s a lot like holiday music. Nat King Cole singing “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” warms your heart, and yet Christina Aguilera’s rendition might… not. So, in the tradition of all things Spearmint, I take off my hat to you, Orbit. I’ll be reverting to your brand for this classic for many Christmases to come.
Texture: It’s no Trident, but it stands the test of time. It lasts for as long as a good gum ought to last, chewy, elastic, well executed texture here.

Overall: What more can I say? Chew it again, Sam.
Rating: ooooo (five gumballs)

Trident Xtra Care Cool Mint

Flavor: Ok, so I hate to become redundant, but based on my and my sister’s ratings on mint gums, it seems that mint-flavored gums are easy to execute but difficult to execute in any kind of unique form. A mint gum is hard to screw up (although it’s been done, believe me). This gum is all right. It’s minty, cool, but that’s about it. The name is right, it’s Cool Mint. It’s a minty gum you don’t think about while you’re chewing it—a gum, if you will, for non-gum-conossieurs, folks who chew gum to freshen their breath and be done with it.

Texture: Meatier than most Trident gums, but stands true to the test of Trident texture quality. Once again, a fine, unassuming texture.

Overall: Again, this is a gum for gum chewers, not gum lovers. It’s just all right. The package bosts, “Xtra Care,” that it “Strengthens Teeth,” and has “Recaldent Milk Derived.” Not only is that grammatically incorrect, I am skeptical about its teeth-strengthening qualities. Let’s not be fooled by gimmicks, folks, chewing a stick of gum is not going to infuse calcium into your bones. But if you’re looking for stronger teeth, give it a shot, I guess. Or drink some actual milk. Otherwise, onward into the sea of mint for bolder and better flavor for me. If my teeth needed strengthening, I wouldn’t be chewing this much damn gum to begin with.
Rating: ooo (three gumballs)

Trident Wild Blueberry Twist

Flavor: Sickeningly sweet. The front label features a pomegranite and a blueberry. I don’t understand the world’s fascination with pomegranites lately. I used to eat them a lot as a kid, because they were fun to eat, not so much because of the taste. I remember them not tasting like much at all, really. Such is the case with this gum. It’s blueberry gum. Strong, stinky blueberry gum. I’m probably very biased as I am NOT a fan of blueberry flavor in general. This gum in particular is sickeningly sweet, but I suppose that someone who loves blueberry will love this gum.

Texture: Good. No complaints at all. Starts out soft and stays chewable, like most Trident gum. Trident usually gets texture spot on.

Overall: Although I personally would rate this gum VERY low on my gum scale – I will NEVER buy it again and I will refuse it if offered to me, I have to say that this is a nice offering from Trident. It’s consistent with other blueberry flavor things, and pretty accurate. I came to this review dreading it and fully expecting to give it one gumball, but that would be absolutely selfish of me. Even though I know my sister feels the same way about this gum, I have to say with all honesty that it’s NOT a bad gum. It’s, in fact, quite a good gum, and deserves much applause. I’d be interested to see comments from people who have tried this gum, especially if you are a fan of blueberry flavor. If you have, please sign in and let us know what you think, and I may adjust the gumball rating accordingly.Rating: oooo (four gumballs)

Extra Fruit Sensations: Island Cooler

Flavor: This gum fills your mouth with mango and citrus for about five seconds and almost immediately fades. It might as well be edible, seeing how quickly the flavor fizzles. It’s a good flavor, I’ll give it that, but I don’t know if it lives up to the name of “Island Cooler.” It doesn’t cool my mouth at all. It’s a fruity burst and then a flavorless hunk of rubber.

Texture: This gum is full bodied, like most Extras, but a bit too mushy too quickly. I remember back when I first tried this gum, I chewed a piece long enough that it turned into a gob of mush, falling apart between my teeth, formless. I haven’t chewed a piece long enough this time around for that to happen, and I’m not going to find out if it’s still the case. I chew it long enough that it makes me want to gag, and then I spit it out.

Overall: The inside of this package says, “We couldn’t fit a cabana boy in the pack so you’ll have to get your own.” This is another subtype of “Fruit Sensation” (I blogged on Sweet Watermelon yesterday), and I’ve decided that Extra is wasting too much time on marketing and not spending enough time on the product quality. It’s good, but lackluster, and for all the bells and whistles on the label, it really doesn’t do much for me. Eh, it’s arrite, but I won’t be buying it again. Stop trying to be cute, Extra: It’s what’s inside that counts.
Rating: oo (two gumballs)

Extra Fruit Sensations: Sweet Watermelon

Flavor: It’s a delicious representation of the traditional fake watermelon flavor, with no claims of “cooling” or “minty” sub-flavors. It’s exactly what it is, it’s sweet watermelon, bright and watermelony to start and lasting long through the whole chew. It’s yummy, simple, a treat. It’s not a gum I can chew for a long time, more of a quick sweet treat, like a Starburst, after a meal.

Texture: This is a full-bodied gum that lends itself to bubble-blowing, but is too sticky to really execute a full bubble with confidence. After a while, though, something about it—maybe the flavor, maybe the texture, pretty much just ejects it from my mouth, almost as a reflex, my tongue forces it out and I have to catch it and chuck it.

Overall: So I chewed this gum for a day in preparation for the gumblog, but by the evening I realized that I didn’t want to chew another stick in order to write it. Alas, I took the risk. This is yet another gum that forms sores in my mouth, which is always a rather…disconcerting characteristic in a gum. Sores aside (maybe I just have a sensitive mouth), it’s a good gum, for what it is. I couldn’t see it being anyone’s favorite gum, maybe the stand-by for a change every so often. But me? I will not be chewing it again. It might taste good, but it’s just not worth the mouth corrosion.
Rating: ooo (three gumballs)

Orbit Fabulous Fruitini

Flavor: At first I wasn’t sure what I thought of the flavor. This gum starts out subtle and soon increases in flavor to a very nice fruit-filled melody, but then just as quickly fades into nothingness, a victim of Gum Base Syndrome. Once the flavor fades, and it fades fast, it has practically no taste at all.

Texture: I can’t complain much about the texture, it remains chewable from start to finish… but who wants to chew unflavored gum base, anyway?

Overall: This gum came out last year in a season of new gum FILLED with Orbit opportunities. Orbit flooded the market with a ton of new flavors, and of course I tried them all, so I had completely forgotten about Fabulous Fruitini. Now I remember why – it’s completely forgettable. The way fruit flavors are saturating the gum market, a fruit gum really has to stand out to be memorable in my book, and Fabulous Fruitini just falls flat. I don’t recommend this gum, and I will not be chewing it again.Rating: oo (two gumballs)