Flavor: I must preface this review by reminding our readers that Shannon and I have a rule that we must always be chewing the gum-in-question at the time of the review. I struggled with the possibility of not chewing a second piece of this gum while reviewing– it’s that gross. In the end, my professional morals held strong, and now I’m chewing the second piece of the most disgusting gum I’ve had in a long, long time. I know all sugar-free gums are chemical-based and are probably leading me on a slow journey to an early death, but I can almost feel this gum in action as it deteriorates my life cells. It starts out bad and “shifts” to worse. I gave the Orange + Mint version of this gum some credit for trying something new and taking a risk. But I just can’t do it again. The “berry” tastes like a straight-up packet of Sweet and Low, and the mint never even really comes to fruition at all. What you’re left with is a phony-sweet lump of cold in your mouth with no defining flavors or positive attributes.
Texture: I can’t even go into the texture– it doesn’t matter what the bite of the gum is like– I’m too distracted by the film of chemical coldness that sticks to every surface in your mouth, a sort of slime that stays for at least half an hour after you stop chewing. It’s nearly impossible to get rid of the film, chewing a different piece of gum or swishing a mouthful of water won’t do it. It’s so unpleasant that I was actually worried that brushing my teeth after this piece wouldn’t eliminate the nasty cold lingering feeling and I’d be stuck with it for another hour of my life.
Presentation: As with its orange counterpart, this gum seems to be marketed toward adults, although I saw a little kid eyeing it up as I was opening it in the mall. It is a compelling concept– (Two gums in one?! I’ve got to try that!), but even upon conception it seems counterintuitive that a berry flavor could shift into a mint flavor flawlessly, without an inevitable merging of flavors (a la Orbit Bubblemint). Alas, it falls short, after all.
Overall: Ughl, can I take this out of my mouth now? (That’s what she said.)
Rating: o one gumball