Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape Triple Treat

Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape Triple Treat*Note: Thanks to the advice of an insightful reader, we’ve decided to add a new category to our gum reviews. Henceforth, in addition to flavor, texture and overall, we will also comment on the topic “Presentation.”

Flavor: Oh wowee wow wow, about fifteen years ago I’d have died and gone to heaven with this little gem. Bubble Tape was always fun, but to me it really was just a glorified bubble gum. This new flavor is reminiscent of one of my all-time favorite childhood treats, Laffy Taffy. And I’m not talking about the regular kind you get on Halloween, I’m talking about the super-fun candy-ba-sized strawberry Laffy Taffy with the crunchy candy seeds pressed into it. It’s tangy and sweet, with hints of blueberry, strawberry, and watermelon. After about ten minutes chewing, the flavor is more like a dull cotton candy, which is a pretty nice bonus.

Texture: This gum is manufactured for one purpose: fun. It packs “six feet of fun,” although I regrettably never got a chance to measure for accuracy (it was gifted to me half-eaten and much-coveted by Shannon who, for Mommy reasons, can’t eat soy for a while). The first sensation is a rather disagreeable chalkiness, as the tape is covered in near-flavorless sugar powder to avoid sticking to itself (I assume) when it’s rolled up. Ripping off about half a foot produces a nice sized hunk of gum, even after chewing for a while, and it does blow a pretty consistent bubble, although they don’t get as big as they do with regular Hubba Bubba.

Presentation: This container screams “FORFEIT LUNCH AND SPEND THE MONEY MOM GAVE YOU ON BUBLE TAPE.” It’s hard plastic which, although probably not the greatest for the environment, is way cool to take out and share with your friends. I imagine composing a formula that allows such malleability that it coils like tape without ever drying out or cracking was quite a feat. Not to mention that there appears to be glitter both INSIDE THE GUM and in the package itself. Also, the fruits pictured are strawberry, blueberry and watermelon, and I’ve got to say, all the flavors are there on the initial chew.

Overall: O Hubba Bubba triple treat, where were you on the playground when I was trying to make friends and endure awkward pre-adolescence? If we had met back then… perhaps everything would have been different.

Rating: ooooo five gumballs